Of Signage and Such...

This past month has been a month of travels and sickness.  The two often go hand-in-hand, don’t you think? At least for me they do.  Sickness is a part of life no matter what continent you happen to be on.  Travel, however, can differ quite substantially from continent to continent and country to country – and no, before you start to think I’m going to have another diatribe on the joys of public transportation, let me assure you that I’m not.  Rather, I’m going to be focusing on an often-overlooked joy about traveling in the third world:  the signage.

I paid special attention to signs along the road these past few trips and jotted down some of my favorites. Of course, I don’t have my notes here with me while I type this – because that would make sense, of course, and I tend to do things the way that doesn’t make sense.  Even without trying. It’s one of the quirks of me being me.  So I’ll do my best to remember some of the ones I wrote down and those I’ve seen along the way.

·      “Level 2 Bar” - Does that mean I have to pass level 1 before I can go to Level 2? Is the alcohol a bit more potent there?

·      “Freedom Grocery” – Yes, I’d like 3 packages of freedom, 4 of unity, and 4 of justice for all, please.

·      “Ilala Eye Clinic – Optometrist at work” – as opposed to the dentist? Surgeon maybe? Or maybe it was as opposed to not at work?

·      “Mama Boy Food Store” – stay away, ladies, stay away! We’ve all been warned about mama’s boys…

·      Or this one found painted on the back of a truck: “Kumbe! Chips ni viazi, tu. Du!  Translation: “Oh wow! Fries are potatoes. Duh!”  Was this the burning message you felt you just HAD to have on the back of your truck as an advertisement to the rest of the world? Really?

·      Or how’s this – a sign in a school yard: “Academic shade”  Hmmm…so that was my problem in high school – I was sitting in the non-academic shade. Darn-it all! I so could have been class valedictorian.

·      Then there’s the “Happy Barber” – walk-ins are welcome, but only when they’re having good days. Mr. Grumpy-pants should not even bother.

·      Here’s a good one: “Tanzania wide-screen Doctors”. Should I go there if I’m sick? Or if I have an issue with my tv? Not quite sure… or are they doctors who specialize in wide-screen x-ray machines?

·      This was written on the inside of my tuk tuk: “Only           have authority to change your life.”  I guess passengers are supposed to fill in the blank.  My guess? “Only women.” Or how about “Only air conditioners”.  “Only people at your front door”. Oh, I could go on and on about that one.

But I think the one that easily takes the cake is this poster up on the wall in a classroom.  This particular classroom is rented out by a church I visited this past weekend. From where I was sitting, the poster was directly in my line of vision just behind the guy who preached.  Needless to say, it was kind of hard to concentrate…